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Bridging The Gap

Conversations With Spirit


Who Was & Still Is



Kimberly M. Quezada

Copyright © 2017 by Kimberly M. Quezada


License Notes

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. All rights reserved. This eBook or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.


Printed in Canada


First printing, 2017


ISBN 9780991912193


Kimberly M. Quezada

Edmonton, Alberta

Canada


www.irishyogini.wix.com/authorpage

Acknowledgments



For the Spirit

On the physical plane

Beside, around and within.

A soft spot to land.

Someone

Something to fall into.

To connect with.

Someone

Something to continue to live, reside, and speak with.

Even if

One day

It’s in a different way.


Introduction


Death.


When I consider the word, I stumble, either verbally or mentally. It’s too final.


Death.


I don’t pretend to be unaffected by the aftermath of it. I have, like many many people, lost family and friends to the word. As I sat in funeral homes, churches or hospitals, I cried with those who were seemingly left behind and yet…there was always a sigh of relief; a quiet happiness that flowed through me and a mental congratulations because they had done what might be considered the impossible. They graduated from one of the biggest education centers of this Universe…Earth.


I once heard that people who have died were called back to Heaven because they were needed in a bigger capacity than what they were needed for on earth which doesn’t exactly sound fair. These people were parents or siblings, children or friends, husbands or wives. Their lives were making the biggest impact on those who knew them and who loved them as who they were in their human form. They were life and yet I felt strangely comforted, after the tears had fallen, that their life never ended. It just began again…in a different way.


So I don’t prefer the word death. Anything but death. When speaking to those we may label dead, I have gained the understanding that the Spirit was never meant to die; that it continues because it is energy and the energy of our luvs never quits. They have imprinted part of themselves on our hearts and minds, never to be forgotten. But I don’t believe they were ever meant to only be a memory either.


What if we could come to an understanding that just as much as we wish we could interact with our loved ones again…that they wish the same as well and they try. What if we took a moment and just forgot about our questions and simply called their names to have a talk with them. What if we poured them a cup of coffee or a tea or even served them their favorite beer and spoke and, when hearing a reply in the back corner of our brains, chose to believe it was them answering and continued to engage in the conversation we just started?


My first experience channeling someone from Heaven was Paul Walker. I didn’t know who he was. Only that he acted in movies I had never been interested in watching. I never asked for an introduction nor did I ever ask to have ghosts speak with me. I had experience in channeling Angels and my Spiritual Council of Light. I have Spirit Guides that I spoke with frequently but I never considered, for a moment, that my work would take a different direction; that it would change into communicating with a human someone. It was…confusing, crazy, anxiety riddled and doubtful. All these emotions crossed my mind because I felt I was daydreaming; that the man standing at my desk at work, a man that I could only see and hear was an illusion or a daydream. I struggled with understanding the purpose of the visit that soon turned into multiple visits until I caved and gave him the time of day. It took me a few days to engage in some sort of communication with him. I am an automatic writer. It’s what I was comfortable with but I had to begin to engage more spiritual gifts…some that I didn’t realize I had, to make the communication work. It was a secret that I chose to keep to myself until he asked if we could share what we were talking about. Hesitantly, I agreed. It was the start of a journey I could never foresee but have enjoyed just the same.


Then the lines started forming. One after the other, I would have knocks on my door. I would have Spirits from all timelines who just wanted to chat openly and honestly about who they were as they lived and who they continue to be. As I carried on with the visits from the unseen, instead of doubt I felt trust. Instead of worry, I felt supported, and instead of fear I felt loved. I have made many friends in Spirit. Some come back time and again. Some only wave from a distance just to check in. Regardless, channeling these people has offered me something that I probably would never have gotten if I didn’t choose to take part in this work.


Peace.


I cultivated a deeper understanding that we do live on and that we have the ability to continue to touch people’s lives as we do when we inhabit our bodies. How incredible is that?


This is the first book of channeling those that have lived, walked this earth and continue to do so. These conversations will no longer be on the website and will only be found in this book. All of these people have touched my life and shared so much of their love that I am forever grateful. I have spent much time with those of the unseen and have become comfortable with their presence as an extension of my family. This is my journey with them. I have dated these talks. You can flip through or you can read them in order. It’s up to you. For more conversations, please check out the blog at www.irishyogini.wix.com/authorpage. Thank you for joining us. Our door is always open and you are always welcome inside. I have made it my personal mission to continue the conversations that were never meant to end. Events, jobs, vacations, books, articles…all these things were meant to be memories. People...Spirit…not so much and for that reason we continue together in whatever way that presents itself. Right now, it’s with words.



Much Love,


Kimberly.


Foreward


This book that you are about to read is filled with an abundance of channels from so many famous people from the other side that even Oprah would be jealous of these one-of-a-kind “interviews”. In fact, that is my loving nickname for Kimberly… “Oprah of the Dead”. She is much too humble to take the compliment seriously, which is one of the qualities that makes Kim so endearing. Prepare to be intrigued by her remarkable questioning skills that respectfully hit on interesting, yet sometimes, tough subjects. I feel that their responses will not only satisfy your curiosity about each channeled spirit, but will change your perceptions and open your mind to an entirely new way of thinking. I believe this is part of what Kimberly and her most common regulars, Paul Walker, and her spirit guide, Simon, hope to get across to the reader.

If having Paul Walker on your team doesn’t sound incredulous enough, wait until you read the words of legendary singers, actors, writers, inventors, creators; the notorious Rasputin, and even a philosopher and a queen to add to the mix! Not to dismiss Jules Verne, one of the most profound writers that has ever lived as well as the astounding Nicholas Flamel, Princess Diana, and Anne Frank, to name just a few. Even a formidable lion named Cecil! There are far too many impressive names to list, but I’m certain that you will be as fascinated as I am.

Trust me, I know how this sounds. Who is this Kimberly M. Quezada and how is she attracting so many prominent figures in spirit? I once had my doubts too, but as I kept reading, I kept learning, and suddenly my heart and mind were expanding into a place that I never knew existed! There isn’t a shred of doubt that Kim is the real deal. I happen to be very fortunate to have many friends that are mediums, but have never encountered someone so specific, clear and concise with her direct and detailed messages from spirit. Kim is smart, witty, and a little sassy, but all of that is wrapped up in the kind of warmth and compassion that turns sarcasm into loving, teasing banter (especially with Paul). Eventually, I got to know Kimberly on a friendship level, and can honestly say that she’s one of the most authentic and genuine human beings who never ceases to amaze me. She can be a little shy in person, but certainly doesn’t shy away from asking thought-provoking questions while maintaining open-mindedness to the answers received and yet, she holds her own strength of conviction at the same time. All this is delivered in Kim’s precise, yet delicate, way with words. I have participated in some of these channels by asking questions through Kim, and let me tell you personally, the responses have never disappointed. Quite the contrary! Paul Walker, Simon, Anton Yelchin, Robin Williams, and Roger Rodas have all given me amazing feedback that truly made perfect sense in a personalized manner.

I, for one, am honored to have been asked to write this foreword because I believe very strongly in their combined message of “Bridging the Gap – Who Was and Still Is”. This book is rich in knowledge that encompasses the belief that we truly never die because we are energy and we are consciousness, and these never die. You learn that we can continue to keep that valuable connection with our crossed-over loved ones and that the separation from them is only a perception. Kim, and those she channels, are working to shatter the myth of separation after “death”; a word that no longer makes sense to Kimberly for obvious reasons. Kim is breaking the mold by living bravely and speaking her truth because she understands that this message is far too important to hide under a shadow of fear and criticism. Her unique gifts enlighten us with their authenticity and hope to disrupt the status quo by allowing each of us room to ponder, question, and feel out our own journeys of participating in a relationship with spirit in our own individual ways.

Thank-you kindly, Ms. Kimberly, for your caring, loving, and most beautiful heart. Never stop sharing. Many of us have been profoundly touched and influenced by the messages your channels have offered. Thank-you to all of you in spirit who continue to live on, just differently, yet love us unconditionally, and provide ongoing help and constant support.



Leanne.




Prologue


Channeled from Paul Walker





Hey guys. Welcome. It’s cool that you’re here. Right now, I told Kim to give us a minute so I could have a shot of gettin’ you started in what some might consider a trip…a psycho fantastical trip. Cool. I’m in. I’m up for anything. But you haven’t dropped into the pages of a trip. It’s a journey. These pages that you’re about to dive into are talks with some of the coolest people. Some from the history books. Some from recent times. These pages contain the words of those who’ve lived some of the wickedest lives…who have done so much and who some, consider, to have been taken way too soon. Thing is…Heaven isn’t a destination. Heaven’s a state of being and it exists all around you…all the time. It’s not a secret club that’s meant for some and it’s not separate. Not even from you, the reader. I met my girl, Kim, through a man named Erik Medhus. I did an interview with him, his mom Elisa, and a medium named Robert. I had an agenda. I wanted to find someone that I could share messages with, who didn’t know much about me, other than a name and who was willing to go all the way. I found that and through working with her as a partner and as a friend, I found that I didn’t have to remain a memory…that I could continue to live as Paul, on Earth, just in a different way. I owe her. Kim’s my girl and through emotion, sometimes frustration and a lot of love and laughs, we’ve gotten to a point where we’re comfortable and ready to move forward with new ventures and to help as many as we can bridge this gap. We (Spirit) never intended to be just a memory. We live and we love and we’re with all those people who we lived and loved with before our transitions. Kim doesn’t like the word death because she doesn’t believe in it. I support that. So, you’ve downloaded the book. Awesome. Thank you. That’s the first step. Give us an hour. Flip through our journey. Get introduced to people who are still very much a part of life; who can come with a thought and who can get you to feel way more and deeper than you ever could before. Let’s go for a ride. Let’s take your mind and your heart on a journey. Maybe you’ll feel us and you’ll see that you, me and all those that you thought were separate are really just beside you…waiting for an in. Pick up the phone. Say our names. Ask us, ‘man, how’ve you been?’. We’ll answer honestly…


We never left.


Paul.




Visit with Paul Walker – 1st Published Channel and the Start of…Something


January 29, 2016



Okay. So I’m coming out of the closet, spiritually speaking. From the support I have gotten from two close friends and my Spiritual Team about what’s coming in, I’ve decided to be brave and share these conversations. This is so new to me but I’ve been told that these people are coming in with very honest intentions and to move forward with this I am to give the same respect. So without further ado, I am sharing my conversation with Paul Walker. I knew of this guy but I didn't go out of my way to watch his movies or anything. He was just a name in a world I know nothing about. It's surprising that we connected. P for Paul and K for me.



P: Finally. Knock, knock knock.


K: I know. I’m sorry. I have to fit it in when I can but this could take a while.


P: I have all day. Like I’ve been telling you the whole morning. I do know you’re busy so as long as it takes.


K: It’s been a ride; this whole thing and I just wanted to say thanks for hanging around. I know you wanted to talk today because of what you’ve shown me.


P: I’m getting pushy. But I did want to give a shout out to your friend Sharon. I think she was what you needed to do this so I just wanted to say hi. (Waves his hand) She’s awesome. You know that.


K: I do. She’s always there at that exact moment I need to spiritually vent.


P: Shout out to Sharon!


K: So I know that there are lots of discussions that we could talk about that I would share…


P: Oh no.


K: And we have had private conversations about personal things to me…


P: Yes.


K: I told Sharon I might bring this up with you.


P: I was telling you all day yesterday about throwing me under the bus this way. This is our virgin voyage.


K: But after talking with Sharon about all this celebrity stuff, I’m still curious and I know you’ve been feeding me bits and pieces…


P: Yes.


K: Women?


P: Great.


K: Seriously. You come from a life where you had many admirers, mostly women, and they’re very protective of you and your memory. Did you appreciate all or did you type cast?


P: Wonderful. (Sarcasm)


K: I could ask different things if you want.


P: No, it’s fine. Like all people on earth, not just celebrities or men, I had a type that I found attractive but that doesn’t mean I found women of different types not beautiful.


K: Okay.


P: I think in the industry I was in, it was very difficult for anyone, male or female, to be themselves. Especially for women, in some of the films I made, you needed to be a specific type.


K: Sexy.


P: We could say that, sure, but was it what I personally preferred, not always.


K: What did you prefer?


P: Someone who could keep up. (Laughing) Seriously though, when my daughter was born it changed because I wanted her to know that who she was in this world was important and it didn’t matter that she was Paul Walker’s daughter. She was an individual. I think that when you become a parent, your view of beauty is different because it’s a person not just a face. You look at beauty different because you want to instill a sense of confidence in your kids.


K: Well put. I try to do that. My husband for sure. Especially with Ireland.


P: Yeah. Dads are more protective of their girls.


K: So, your daughter really made you look at people, specifically women, with more…


P: Say it.


K: Respect.


P: Definitely.


K: What do you think now, from your much broader perspective, about that whole industry?


P: Uh…Depends on what genre. With both men and women, appearance is everything because they have to portray an image so anyone cast in a role has to be believable. If you’re going for sex, that person had to have the ‘body’ the ‘look’ (he’s doing air quotes) If you’re acting in a role about smarts then you have to look ‘smart’. That’s what sells. But it’s stressful for these people. It does take a toll. It’s almost one-upping a person with appearance to get a role.


K: Did you ever have to compete like that?


P: Of course.


K: Confidence?


P: Practiced. (He smiles) You get used to the way that career works. I felt very lucky that I got…well, I found a niche that fit my personality. It came easy…obviously.


K: So women…


P: I like how they are now starting to say what’s okay and what’s not. I know you’ve always questioned or wondered about those celebrities you read about but the message I want to bring forth is that we’re not that image that’s portrayed and people like to dig and dig for this thought or image of those celebrities that they crush on but nine times out of ten, it’s not who they really are. Believe it or not, we have lives that aren’t available for viewing and that’s who we are and hopefully not what you see. Privacy is a big thing that we have to struggle with.


K: Yeah.


P: Assumption creates all that rumor and usually it’s not true. Anyway, back to women.


K: Do you think women have to put on such a show? Not just celebrities but in general?


P: No.


K: Not at all?


P: Nope. Not at all. But there’s factors that play roles like upbringing and social standards. Men do it too. It’s just not as talked about.


K: I agree. Men have those issues too.


P: Yeah but people, and this goes for all, there’s too much emphasis put on how others will look at you . You (He’s talking about me) go through that. Especially with talking to me.


K: It’s true. I do. And how I hear you right now, there’s still that thought about people not going to believe this.


P: (shrug) So?


K: Is that the same thing you would tell someone if they thought they didn’t look good to someone else?


P: Yep.


K: Hhhmmm.


P: I lived how I wanted to live. I still do. I didn’t concern myself with what others thought. I had bigger concerns. Like being a good father, being a good brother, friend and son. What people assumed I was like wasn’t important. They can be protective of an image but it was only those closest to me that could be protective of who I was as a man.


K: Do you enjoy the fan base you still have?


P: I do. I appreciate the love. It’s a lot of love and without that fan base I wouldn’t have had the life I did. I am honored and I will always be grateful.


K: I know you tried to give back.


P: As much as I could. There are people all over the world that need help. Especially after disasters. If I could use my ‘status’ to bring awareness, I would.


K: Again with the air quotes?


P: It brings home a point.


K: Yes it does.


P: Celebrities could do more of that.


K: Air quotes?


P: No. Humanitarian aid effort. Whatever. Some do. But there could be more I think. Let’s not just leave it to celebrities though. Let’s say everyone. Everyone could be more helpful.


K: I agree. In some way be helpful.


P: In some way. (He nods) Come on. Ask it. I know you want to.


K: Oscar controversy?


P: It’s always been there.


K: How come it’s coming out now?


P: Because people have a right to say how they feel. There’s definitely still some inequality. Is that how it’s said?


K: Very politically correct.


P: Thanks.


K: What would fix it?


P: The same issues as the woman thing. Stop type casting. If a black man or woman is better for a role but in the script it was thought of as white, forget what it was thought as. It’s simple to me. Doesn’t matter color or gender. It’s a human being. But I think it will always be there. I think more African Americans should make more movies. They would be awesome and it would set the stage for more equality in all ways in that industry.


K: Set the stage. Good one.


P: Set the tone. There needs to be more proactive instead of reaction.


K: Funny you should say that…


P: I know. I know who visits.


K: (Laughing) How did a talk about women become about the Oscars?


P: You asked and it’s all connected. Equality. I can’t believe you still think you’re imagining this.


K: I know. I’m sorry. I’ll get better.


P: Eat that sandwich.



I’m eating lunch.



K: Want one?


P: I’m good. So, are you going to take a leap of faith?


K: Thinking about it.


P: Come on. Be brave because there’s lots more to come.


K: From who?


P: From anyone.


K: Oh God.


P: (laughing) I gotta go. You eat. I wanna give a shout out again to Sharon. And I wanna say hi to everyone out there that keeps me alive. All your love feeds me. I love you back. (He kisses his palm and offers the kiss.)


K: Bye Paul. Thanks.


P: Bye.




Visit with TomTom from the Afterlife


February 1, 2016



I have been experiencing the presence of a young man, maybe seventeen or eighteen years of age. He is Aboriginal and he has wanted a chance to speak or to give an “interview”. I don’t know him, just that he’s an Aboriginal boy from Canada and he kept telling me his name was TomTom. I did an internet search to see if there was any native name like that and all I got was some sort of drum. As I was walking my dog I was thinking about him and found the feather of an owl. He told me it was for me. I asked if he could show me who he was. I did another internet search on “TomTom native name” and Thomas Moore came up. I asked him if this was him and he confirmed it was. So a head count of who’s who as I speak with him is my spirit guide, Simon and Thomas (TomTom).


K: I’m sorry to keep you waiting so long Thomas. Thank you for being patient with me and thank you for the gift of the feather. You must be connected to the owl somehow because in my dreams last night I was with an owl.


T: Yes. The owl is part of me.


K: Does this mean totem stuff?


T: Yes. Thank you for seeing me and talking with me.


K: Thank you for being with me. You told me while we were introducing ourselves over the last couple of days that you were from Manitoba but in my research, which came up with very little, it said you went to school in Saskatchewan.


T: Yes, I was taken from my home and moved far away. This was so the opportunity of leaving would be difficult.


K: Is it true you went to a residential school?


T: Yes. This is true. The photos that you see of me are the transition I made from Cree boy to white boy. This was not of my choosing but it was pressed upon me to do so.


K: Can you tell me a little bit about your experience? I mean, I hear of the stories and I can only imagine the circumstances of your schooling. Is there anything you would like to tell me? Were you treated better than the others because you were the face of what the intentions of the schools were?


T: This was propaganda. It did not show the truth of the situation. It was only to show the public of the well-being that the children of these schools were living. It was a face to a situation that made it easier for people to turn away from. I was not treated better than another. We were treated the same.


K: What was it like when you were taken?


T: It was like the trapping of an animal. I was lured with other children and then taken.


K: Did you ever see your family again?


T: No. I was too young.


K: Too young to run?


T: Too young to remember. It was not only the clothes that changed. It was similar to brainwashing. Those that fought suffered the most. It was better to accommodate than to try and remain who I was.


K: Why do you think these schools were constructed?


T: Ignorance breeds racism. Questions were never asked about how my people lived. We were considered to be heathens. We were considered to be cavemen when the way we lived was of the earth and we respected what the earth blessed us with.


K: Did you die in the school?


T: No. I died after I left. Fever. My kind; my people, could never obtain the proper help or healthcare that we required and so many of us died because of this. We were taken, we were changed, we were released. The support, to continue in our new white lives, was not there. We were slaves.


K: I have to ask Thomas, why are you coming to me? I’m sure you know that I’m pretty new at this stuff but such an emotional story and such a heavy topic is a little uncomfortable for me. So I’m just wondering why now, I guess?


T: There is much assumption about what happened in the schools. There is much hatred and ongoing sorrow because of what generations before went through. Yes, we suffered but this does not mean that all must continue to do so.


K: Did you want to tell me a little of what you experienced?



He shows me scrubbing skin. He shows me red and raw scrubbed skin.



K: Was this about your color?


T: Yes.



He shows me classrooms and repeating phrases from books. He shows me verbal abuse if pronunciation of words wasn’t spoken correctly.



K: Did this happen as soon as you arrived or was there “time” for the young ones to, I guess practice a little?


T: Not an abundant amount of time to learn new languages. It was important to leave who you were as an Aboriginal person very quickly. It was important to become “white” very quickly.



He shows me children eating in large rooms together but there’s not much talking. He shows me some areas were kept clean while others were not. This was where illness was most prevalent.



K: In my knowledge of residential schools, I was reading of abuse? Physical and otherwise?


T: Yes. This was in order to maintain control but we did not have to act out in ways that would warrant discipline. We were disciplined anyway. We were disciplined for being Aboriginal.


K: I have to ask this because it’s always there. It’s like the elephant in the room of this situation. Did you blame religion for what you went through? I don’t know much but I have heard that these schools were run by Christians so I’m just wondering if, when you lived it, you blamed religion or even God?


T: I blamed ignorance. I had no knowledge of your churches at this time. In my young age I did not know of a God as how you thought of this term. I knew of ancestry, of spirit, of earth. I did understand God but in my own terms of a Central Source. It was not only one. It was all. No, I did not hold blame to a religion. I held blame to the individuals that I suffered under.


K: And now?


T: I only hold a space of forgiveness and love. I cannot hold onto to hateful feelings here because it is impossible. I only hold the lessons that I have learned from living that life as a child and young man.


K: What was your death like?


T: It was freedom. I was given wings to fly.


K: The owl?


T: Yes.


K: How are you now and by that I mean how do you live now?


T: I live with my people. I hold those that cry in a space of forgiveness and love. I am with my ancestors and together we continue to teach of rising from ashes and to be reborn through forgiveness. Too often it is seen that the suffering of the Aboriginal, from all areas of this world, is used to keep them down in this energy. It is the time to rise up and use the experience of abuse as a tool of knowledge about how to come out of the darkness and still remember who one is, in the true spirit of one’s birth. One is handed circumstances in life. It is coming out of this with an understanding of purpose that is important. It is a time to gain self-love from hardship.


K: You wanted to speak about the missing Aboriginal women?


T: Yes.


K: What would you like to say about it?


T: It is the same cycle only in different form. This cycle stems from within the culture and not outside of it. It is because my people have not been able to heal and so the cycle continues.


K: But this doesn’t mean all Aboriginals are still trapped in these cycles.


T: No, but it is still there. We are still separated as a culture when your country was founded by it; by us. We should not remain separate and yet we are.


K: Some would say that it’s time to stop using history as an excuse for behavior; that there is help offered but it’s not taken.


T: No resources for help because of ages old bias and racist assumption. The help is still based on race. When an Aboriginal man or woman is seen on the street and it is apparent they are suffering, assumptions are made based on what they look like or who they are. There is not enough help available for these men and women because of preconceived ideas and judgements that continue to this day. The wars that my people fought still reside in their being today. It is a difficult road with equally difficult solutions.


K: Do you see this changing?


T: Yes.



He shows me a picture of our recently elected Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau.



T: He is the face of change, of sensitivity and insight to conversations not being spoken. He will start these talks by peace, by understanding that the past has shaped our present but will not shape our future.


K: You speak like you’re alive with us now.


T: I am. There is no death. I am present.


K: Did you live your highest potential or were you not able to?


T: I was not able to under the circumstances that I lived. I did my best with the life that I ultimately chose but I continue to live my highest potential now.


K: Are you a guide?


T:Yes.


K: Were you ready to transition when you did?


T: Yes. I was ready for freedom.


K: Do you see earth evolving or staying the same?


T: The earth has already evolved and heals Herself as we speak. It is humanity that is unable to keep up.


K: Because of?


T: Because of traditions, ways of being passed on through the centuries without seeing that there are higher ways. Humanity suppresses itself. This is a choice. Only a few have the vision to make productive change. This, we can now see happening.


K: I know that you want to shed light on the past but is there anything that you have to shed some awareness on the future?


T: Only by forgiveness can humanity rise. Only by love of Self can humanity forgive. Life does not continue by residing in the past. The way a person acts and behaves now has more to do with loving what is inside. For this is where healing takes place.


K: The apology that was made by the Canadian government…


T: Was the first step but it is only up to the ones that continue to linger in resentment to accept these words and move on. Sometimes it is easier to stay in the dark than to open to the light.


K: The reserves that the Aboriginal people live on…you just showed me a picture so I have to ask your thoughts on this.


T: It is only to continue segregation/separation when it is integration that will allow healing. It only perpetuates the cycles of the past.


K: But some choose to stay in those communities so the culture isn’t forgotten.


T: And this is a choice on their part. Communities can still support each other within a country of oneness; within a world of oneness.


K: So not just in Canada but globally.


T: Yes. One does not need to retain borders to hold onto individuality. It is the incorporation of differences that creates beauty in diversity.


K: Many of the Aboriginal people of Canada, because I don’t know much about the other countries, converted to Christianity.


T: It is because they found the love of Christ. It is more about the man that was Jesus than the religion. He heals the sick and suffering. They found healing through his presence and his words.


K: And you?


T: I have found my healing through helping in higher ways, through spirit and through my ancestors; those who have come before me. I haven’t lost who I was. I only gained what I could not be on earth.


K: Would you like me to share this?


T: This is why I have come forth; so my message of forgiveness can be read and taken to heart from someone who had everything to forgive. They tried to erase who I was but who I was I will be for eternity.


K: Are you happier…I guess, with the way you were taken from what you knew; how you lived?


T: I suppose if I was taken as an older child, I may have endured a worse fate. It happened how it was meant to. I have no regrets, only a deeper understanding of those times. It wasn’t for me to understand as I lived it; only to experience it as I did. Those that would look at my picture have questions that stir in their minds about those times. Yes, it was awful and sometimes unimaginable or unthinkable. I only hope that my words give some answers and what can happen when there is opportunity to move forward from darkness. It doesn’t always have to involve the death of the human form. It can happen when there is life. Back when the photo was taken, I was the picture of reform. Now I wish to be the picture of a new day, of forgiveness and of a unified world that can come out of the ashes unscathed.


K: Thank you Thomas. I hope that this isn’t the only time we’ll talk. I hope that we can speak again. I’m happy we stayed clear of the abuse. I have trouble hearing those kinds of things.


T: Yes. I know. It is better to introduce each other in advance of these questions and answers. It happened but the abuse has not continued with me. Only transcended. As the Spirit of a people still can.


K: Thank you so much. I’ll share your words. I think that their purpose was so people can stop dwelling in being a victim and become their own hero. I don’t speak just about the Aboriginal people but for all people that have suffered by the hands of another.


T: Yes. I thank you for taking the time to visit with me. I know you have been feeling unwell. I wish you abundant health in these times of new unfolding for you.


K: Thanks. It’s funny, I was feeling okay while you were with me and now that you’re ready to go, I’m feeling a little more under the weather. (Have a cold.)


T: This will not last long. Good bye Kimberly.


K: Bye Thomas.




Conversation with Paul Walker – Talking About God


February 6, 2016



This chat was fun. He's so fun. I'm sure everyone that knew him was well aware that this man was very special. We're talking God today and he's just in jeans and a light blue t-shirt. He's sitting on a chair while I'm sitting at my desk. He's always so casual. Here we go.


P: Yes, and we’re back. How are you Kim?


K: I’m doing very well. Thank you. How are you?


P: I am excellent. Just hanging out. Get those other voices out of your head. I’m tired of competing with them.


K: You don’t have to compete with anyone.


P: Uh…did we not have this discussion already this morning?


K: Yes, we did. I’m all ears….and brain…I guess.


P: Excellent. Did you want to bring him in today?


K: I’m tempted but I think I have to have those conversations in a better place than work.


P: No problem. God take two?


K: Is that where you want to go?


P: Well you asked and I think it’s one of those talks that people want to have but kind of sweep it under the rug because it’s too controversial or judged or…there’s so many differences of opinion on the matter.


K: But do you want to take some time to explain it in your view or do you want to call people out on what or how they choose to believe?


P: Never. I would never do that. Not my business. Go get your book Kim. Come on.


K: Done. We did talk about this before so are we just rehashing.


P: A little bit but I’m willing to put it out there. I don’t think it’s a topic that people need to be shy about. It’s religion right? It gets all messed up in Religion.


K: So now you have a problem with Religion?


P: Nope. None. Zip. It’s personal. How people perceive a higher power is a deeply personal experience.


K: Yes. Agreed. So we started this conversation with me accusing you of following me and then you said…


P: I am following you.


K: There are skeptics out there.


P: Let ‘em. We’ve talked about this.


K: You want to rehash this too?


P: Skeptics is like a broken record. Everyone has skeptics. It’s not just in certain areas. Everyone has to have their opinions but that’s just it. It’s their opinion. It’s like dating…


K: Uh oh.


P: Let me finish. It’s like dating and you tell your friends, ‘Yeah, I met this really awesome girl. We’re starting to hang out.’ And they’re like ‘Oooo, her?’


K: (laughing)


P: Skeptical of your friend’s girl.


K: We’re really off topic.


P: Okay. God.


K: You said for people, it’s conceptual.


P: Yes.


K: Go on.


P: It’s like this being or some guy in the sky that runs the show. Usually a he and he directs what happens. Like ‘That wasn’t good, you’re out.’ Or ‘You can stay, you followed the rules.’ Right?


K: Yes. So what are you going to say?


P: It’s not that.


K: At all?


P: Maybe like a grain of sand of truth but not really. Not at all.


K: Okay, so then what is it for you?


P: Deeply personal. When I was alive I would think in terms of someone like that but it is so much bigger and it is so much more personal. I was given a lot. I led a very cool existence. I was given a lot of opportunities that some others didn’t get. Did that make me better in the eyes of some being? No. I was living the story I chose.


K: But you didn’t see that while you lived.


P: Not in that way but I did realize that I had a lot of good things going for me and I was very thankful. Did I say thank you to God. Sure. Did I worship a God. Not in the sense that someone going to church was. Did I practice a religion to worship God. Not diligently but that person, that old guy in the sky, I definitely said thank you to. It was a private thing.


K: Wow. Okay so now?


P: You’ve heard that it’s He/She. There’s no gender but even that…I mean, you take your beliefs with you when you get here. I thought of a He and that’s what I experience here.


K: A continual thing? Not just a once in a while high five to Source Creator?


P: No. It’s constant. And I know there are the scientists and I know there are the Atheist but…(he points to some sort of audience.) you wait. You’ll see. What about you? You’ve told me before but tell them.


K: Well, I believe in an energy. A Creative Source. I do catch myself saying He a lot but it’s only because I was raised that way but when I say my prayers in the morning it’s Mother Father god. I believe in…


P: I feel you. Like all encompassing.


K: Yes. It is very difficult to define but, like I told you before, I think of it as something so huge that It’s the Universe(s) and yet something so small that It lives in your heart.


P: Bingo.


K: Did you just say bingo?


P: Because that’s not okay?


K: Just unexpected.


P: Right on?


K: Okay. What else. I’m going to interrupt and just say that I love, when you think of her, you show me rainbows. So sweet.


P: I just love her so much. It makes me glow.


K: I know. So sweet. So, when we were talking about this before, I could sense that you were getting frustrated because you couldn’t find the words to describe it.


P: The words don’t do it justice. There are no words because it’s all words. It’s everything. It’s so huge.



He holds out his arms really big.



K: Do you think we could ever understand the topic here?


P: Yes but it would be very limited then to actually experience it. Look at you asking the tough questions.


K: Only because we’ve talked about it before.


P: Cheater.


K: Sue me. Expand on limited.


P: Yes, there would have to be a lot of misconceptions dropped but for some people, those misconceptions are the base of how they worship and what they believe so it would be like pulling the rug out from under them. It would be scary because, with the ones that are very devotional, it’s an extension of them personally. It makes them who they are without realizing that it is already who they are. They don’t have to aspire to greatness to please God. People are already great.


K: So the human perception of God is okay.


P: If you don’t use it as an excuse to be better than someone, I say go hard. But there’s no right or wrong way to think of God. One, because you really have no clue and Two, there’s no right or wrong. There just is.


K: I was waiting for you to say that. That’s my line.


P: See, I think we’re really getting somewhere. We’re starting to steal each other’s words. It’s a race who can talk faster.


K: No fair because I have to record these and you can just talk. Which you’re good at.


P: I’m not sure how to take that.


K: I told you this morning how I would just love to sit and…


P: Shoot the shit?


K: Yes. You have an incredible friendly magnetic personality. Especially when you get going.


P: Thank you. Wise?


K: Okay…onward.


P: Nice (sarcasm)


K: Obviously, for all intents and purposes, you’re wise. Look where you are.


P: Doesn’t mean I’m separate.


K: I’m starting to understand that. So, the last time we were on this subject you gave me that feeling of the heart just opening and expanding and it wanted to make me cry…don’t you dare!


P: Have some fun.


K: That feeling you gave me.


P: Like placing the most amazing food on your tongue for a split second and saying no more while you pull it away. It barely touches the experience of what God is. It’s…every joyful feeling you have ever had and feeling it at the same time. Unreal.


K: I think I’d explode.


P: Yeah. You probably would. Just because the physical can’t take that much at once.


K: And the Spiritual.



He shows me a plant in the sun and it grows fast and big.



K: So it’s like the sun to a plant.


P: In fast ways. Growth happens very quickly here.


K: For everyone?


P: For those that want it.


K: Huh. You talked about feeling proud.


P: Just adding to what I just said about all that feeling.


K: Got it. So to recap. God is not limited and isn’t religious.


P: Yep. What did you say once to your friend? All roads lead to the same home.


K: Same place.


P: Same ending.


K: Or same beginning.


P: We could do this all day.


K: We could. Anything else?


P: I’m happy we could do this.


K: Yes. I agree. Thanks for the chat this morning.


P: Wait till they see who I want to talk to. He’s hanging around. You’ve seen him.


K: Don’t you dare.


P: Hey people! Tell Kim you want more!


K: I knew you were going to do that.


P: You’re going to put it to words.


K: I can’t delete it. I promised word for word and respect.


P: Hey people! Tell Kim you want more!


K: Are we closing?


P: Yes. Thanks for the company. Thanks everyone out there for connecting with me like this. It’s new for me too so I just want to say hi to all of you and thanks for thinking of me and keeping me alive. I feel it. You have no idea. Bye Kim. See you...call me.


K: I can never call first because you’re always the first to call.


P: Bye.


K: Bye.






Conversations with Christine Chubbuck


February 10, 2016



I guess I should set the stage. I didn’t know about this story. I only saw an article because of films coming out based on what she went through. Today I had the honor of speaking with Christine Chubbuck. I distinctly remember reading the article then looking at her picture and asking her what she was thinking. She surprisingly answered me and for the last couple of weeks she’s been introducing herself. Today she offered a small conversation on that exact topic. Thanks again, Christine. You were a great experience.


K: You called? (Addressing Paul and he has a woman with him.)


P: How are you Kim?


K: I’m doing pretty good today. How are you? I see you have a guest with you. I don’t believe this is the first time we’ve met.


P: No. I don’t think so either. Kim, Christine. Christine, Kim.


K: Hi Christine. How are you today?


C: I’m well today. Thanks for answering.


K: You look so happy.


C: I am happy. I’m very happy.


K: So is this connection based on something else?


C: We connected that afternoon I spoke to you when you were browsing the article of my story.


K: (Chuckling) I’m starting to think that’s how I’m inviting you guys in.


C: I would have to agree on that.


K: Okay, so the back story is, I was reading an article about what happened to you because I guess there’s a couple of movies coming out on your death or whatever. I don’t know anything about the movies. I decided against looking them up because the article explained enough. Did you want to tell me, yourself, how you died?


C: I decided to take my own life. It didn’t go as planned. I don’t think it ever truly does. I ended up shooting myself on television.


K: So when I looked at your picture I asked what you were thinking. Your voice was so loud it was almost unbelievable. I guess I’m going to repeat that question. What were you thinking?


C: At that point, I wasn’t thinking. I was numb. For me, the decision had been made before that day that I would do this. It wasn’t a last minute mental break down decision. Mentally, I was having constant break downs although most of the time they were internal.


K: So no one knew the extent of how much you were struggling or they didn’t think you were struggling so much that you would take your own life?


C: I think there was always a thought, especially with my parents, that I would commit suicide but I don’t think anyone believed that I would do it the way I did. The cameras were not supposed to be rolling at that time but I had made the decision to do it and cameras or not, I was ready to go.


K: I don’t think anyone could really understand what would drive someone to do something like that but you said you weren’t thinking. Was it almost like an autopilot moment?


C: Very much so. It was very…quiet in my mind for the first time since I was small.


K: You’re giving me the word methodical?


C: I was detached from my actions but my actions were methodical yes. I knew where the gun was, I knew where I wanted it, and I knew that I was pulling the trigger. I understand that this isn’t easy for you to channel. I simply wanted the opportunity to explain. There are many many people that judge my actions as horrible and disgusting. How could I do that to my family; to my friends? My grandmother always watched on the television. What was I thinking? I can honestly tell you I was not. Not anymore. I didn’t want to think anymore.


K: So you suffered from some sort of depression.


C: Caused by disorders that I couldn’t control.


K: You’re showing me a split…bipolar?


C: Yes.


K: Did you seek help?


C: At that time, the help that I obtained could only do so much. Now, it’s something people talk about and there are better treatments. I must commend my family for all they offered me. They loved me very much and spared no expense for trying to help me as best as the medical professions knew how to at that time.


K: Did any of the treatments work?


C: Yes. Some were very helpful. It was a rollercoaster ride. A mental rollercoaster ride but, when I decided I had had enough, the ride was constantly a mental free fall. I was plummeting all the time. There were no plateaus. There were only great falls.


K: Did you not want to seek more help or did you think it was going to be this never ending cycle?


C: It wasn’t a cycle anymore. It was just never ending. I was tired of pretending to be this woman on the outside when on the inside, every single day was turning into a struggle. I was drowning in trying to keep face; to portray an image that I didn’t have inside.


K: How do you feel about the movies?


C: The sensationalism of my death only hurts the ones that had to endure it. My family has to suffer all over again. I never understood people’s addiction to making one’s life sensationalized on the screen for everyone to see and believe and yet what they see on the screen is nothing like what I endured. My struggles, although some knew about them, were very private.


K: So you didn’t end your life on television for show?


C: Absolutely not. As I said before, it was intended not to be on the television.


K: I feel frustration when I ask about the movies.


C: Yes. How does someone’s struggles and death become entertainment?


K: Sadly, I don’t think yours is the only one Christine. I am sorry about that. I would have to say that the entertainment industry will try to glorify things for profit instead of truth these days.


P: Is that your professional opinion, Kim?


K: I just think that the entertainment industry is running out of steam, steam meaning new creative ideas, and has to profit, sometimes, from situations in this world that need to be prayed about and loved instead of dramatized for profit. That’s just my personal input. I don’t mean to offend anyone but are people, those that watch the story of Christine, supposed to learn something?


C: I don’t think the movies are for educational purposes. (She’s laughing)


K: You didn’t die right away. I think that your family would wonder if you suffered. Is there something you would like to tell them in regards to that?


C: I didn’t suffer. I wasn’t in pain. My physical body just didn’t die right away. I had already left my body. I was with my family, not physically, but in spirit, I guess you could say.


K: So you were able to see the reactions of everyone after you had done what you did?


C: After I shot myself? It was in the hospital that I…left I guess. My physical body.


K: Wow. I’m feeling so much right now. Thank you for not showing me…well…you know.


C: I don’t think you need to see things like that when you’re trying to give us a voice.


K: Your parents?


C: I think the stress of what I was going through ultimately made things difficult for them. I internalized that guilt as well. I felt that it was my fault, in many ways, that they had to work so hard to try and fix me. I wished their efforts had better results.


K: I can imagine.


C: I didn’t decide to take my life because it would hurt many. People would say that suicide is selfish. There are many thoughts on the subject and I’m not here to create a debate. I just had no more rope.


K: Was there a will to try more?


C: No. In my case anyway, I cannot speak for all people who take their life, in my case my will to try to continue my life was…well…it had died. I wasn’t able to find a way to live that was one hundred percent me. I was conflicted constantly. I fought with my mental and emotional…I guess awareness, daily. Minute by minute it became a struggle. A constant fight; a constant war. I think that those living with these states of depression or mental angst can understand that. Not enough to take their own life but can understand that no one could really understand what they are going through on a minute to minute basis. It needs to be talked about. I felt shame. There were times I felt that I should be able to overcome this. I had tremendous guilt that I couldn’t with all the help that was offered to me. I was angry with myself for not being able to overcome this….thing in my mind that would fight with me. I felt no one could really understand me when I couldn’t even understand myself.


K: What was it like when you crossed over?


C: I needed some time to heal. I was met by so much love. I was met with a great reunion but I did have to pull back and heal. I had a lot of guilt that I needed to work through but I didn’t have to do it myself. My struggles when I was alive, I needed to understand the why’s and the why not’s and heal from that.


K: Do you think you have?


C: Yes. It’s been a long time. (She smiles) I should hope I’ve done some work.


K: How do you feel about your choices now? Do you have regrets?


C: I regret the pain and confusion that I caused my family and friends but I also understand that it was a choice that I made at that time and I’ve forgiven myself for it. I don’t want to say that suicide is meant to be. Most times, it isn’t and it is not an escape because I still had to learn those lessons here. It’s just in different ways.


K: And for those that decide to watch your movies?


C: As well intentioned as those that made the movies may or may not have been… take it with a grain of salt. What you see on the screen cannot touch the reality of what she went through when she lived. (She speaks of herself in the third person. She reminded me later that she isn't the same person, obviously, anymore.)


K: Paul?


P: Yeah?


K: Anything?


P: Nope. Thanks Christine. I know you’ve wanted a chance to speak.


C: Thank you so much for allowing me to come. I appreciate the time. I hope that I’ve given some insight into the questions that people might have.


K: Thank you so much Christine. I really appreciate you showing yourself to me. You’re very sweet and beautiful. I get the feeling that when you lived you were very loved and liked.


C: Thank you. I’d like to think I was. (She laughs. She has a great laugh) Thank you.



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